Blog Archives

City of Strangers

Old age is an island surrounded by death . . . 

Foreign to myself

In this foreign land

I fear my own reflection 

I run toward the light 

Only to find darkness

For I sought solace

In empty arms

That reach to touch

No one
©Kay Salady

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Lost Inside

sadness-fix

Lost in myself, I feel hollow
As prescience pulses in pain
From deep within my marrow
Loneliness seeps yet again
The bones of my existence
Long to dance once more
With friend or foe in folly
Outside of my closed door

©Kay Salady

Before the Evening Meal

Before the Evening Meal

Something so simple
As two loving souls
Reaching out
To unite in prayer
Before the evening meal
Can break the heart
Of one who sits
Alone
Day after endless day
And as she perceives
Her greatest dream
Something so simple
Is an undying prayer
Like manna from heaven
To one who sits
Lonely
With a heart crushed by grief
She lowers her head
Into trembling hands
And violently mourns
Her loss

©Kay Salady

Numb

Numb

I want to smoke a cigarette

And have myself a whiskey

Run naked in the falling rain

And scream as if you’d hear

Every vile obscenity

Coursing through my veins

I want to bleed until the need

To feel  you slips away

Here I sit and cower

In a corner of my room

Anesthetized and far-away

Not knowing what to do

The enormity of what I feel

Is eating me alive

This gaping hole

Just sucks me in

I’ll disappear in time

©Kay Salady

Photography:  Adolfo Valente “Sad Rain Day”

Cupid

Cupid

Shy away from bow and arrow
Be not so bold to draw nor aim
For blinding love hit to the marrow
Dare not to grace this heart again
Do not beat your glistening wings
Above this woman’s empty bed
And do not pull at silver strings
That tied two hearts who once were wed
So long ago, my soul did quake
From a spear that pierced the clouds
Oh, how my trembling heart did ache
When my love broke his solemn vow
A paltry sum of time for me
To share his smile — my morning sun
For loss of love and dignity
Was lot in life since I’d begun
I feel that loneliness and I
Are well-acquainted, steadfast friends
Stay well within your starry sky
I do not wish to make amends

(c) Kay Salady

Concrete Sea

“It’s often difficult for me to decipher whether the problems lie within me or around me.  I’m lost in a maze being chased by my own demons  . . . or did you send them?”

 Concrete Sea

 

I have fallen down so far that I cannot find the sky

There’s a concrete sea extending miles ahead of me

And a haze rises from the memories inside my mind

Why was I so blind that I couldn’t see my own reality

Now it’s far too late for me and all that we could be

Has slowly seeped into the barren cracks along the way

If I could only hit replay and yesterday would come again

Owe it to the wind – not much of a friend

Pushing me with pins as each gust comes to bend

Forcing me to swallow gulps of pain

I’m so hollow

Dripping from the holes it bore all over me

Washing out to sea along with all this rain

Falling in sad refrain with my poor heart

Bleeding as I do with loneliness, it’s true

I’m cut so deeply that I feel I’ll fall apart

How can I go on another year living with the fear

That I may never find my way again to you

 

©Kay Salady

 

Lonely Pillow

Lonely Pillow

 

Sweet girl, rest your head

Upon this satin pillow

Made for catching tears

When you’re feeling oh, so blue

And no matter what you do

Mr. Lonely has hold of you

 

©Kay Salady

Only in My Memories

I sit and pick at fragments

The Sandman left behind

Then tug away at blankets

That trap my feet inside

The bed that leaves me weary

Although I’ve slept straight through

Another empty night

I should have spent with you

I look up at the shadows

That drift along my wall

Imagining you’re walking

With coffee down the hall

I smell its sweet aroma

With you inside my mind

Imagination’s wonderful

Yet awfully unkind

I rise to greet my image

And the lines that paint my face

Leave such a sense of vacancy

It’s a damn disgrace

I know I cannot touch you

Or smell your perfumed hair

I’ll never hear you whisper

All the secrets that we’ve shared

Only in my memories

Are you a part of me

But sometimes when I think of you

I swear that I can see

A hint of your sweet smile

And the scent of your cologne

But then those visions vanish

And I find that I’m alone

 

©Kay Salady

My Heart’s Door

Hearts Door Safe Wall

When you come across an empty shell, love isn’t easy to give.  – My dream 2/25

 

On the tip of memory where dreams that dreamers dream

Become safely tucked away in vacant corners of negligence

I stumble along dim corridors seeking my heart’s door

Leaning upon these empty walls of loneliness

Scratching for some recompense for all the years

My happiness lay hidden somewhere far from me

A sonnet’s drifting through my mind that haunts my soul

As tears fall on the letters tied with scarlet thread

I’d gathered from the scattered trail you left behind

Anticipating that I’d find my way to you

Oh heart of mine where did you go what have I done

To inflict such fatal wounds that you should die

Sweet happiness is hidden somewhere far away

Beside my dreams just on the tip of memory

©Kay Salady

For All My Lonely

These empty arms cannot hold offerings
That could portray this love inside
For they have born a load of conflict
This life has placed so high and wide
Now I’m in fear to reach to touch you
For you may fall from within my grasp
I see your face your eyes and want to
Reach out my hand in an awkward clasp
You turn away within your sorrow
It’s then I find that I’m all alone
I see your trail and try to follow
A set of footsteps walking home
Then cried the wind for all my lonely
Shook the trees within the vale
As I look out along the prairie
I hear her long and lonesome wail

©Kay Salady

Image:  deviantart.com