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Mother May I

We have no sense of rapport

And I am not so very sure

How things got to be

The way they are with you and me

It doesn’t make much sense

That I should sit here on a fence

On the outside looking in

Of my own window

I also bear your name

And it sure is awfully lame

That I sometimes feel ashamed

To call it my own

And even though I’m grown

It hurts all just the same

That I never will again

Stop feeling lost

Or cast aside by you

And I don’t know what to do

Always finding it so hard

To choose a simple greeting card

Because none seem to fit

The way I feel

Happy Mother’s Day to you

You who haven’t got a clue

How all the things you didn’t do

Caused so much pain

And all the little things you say

Cut like a knife until today

The things you do are things

That mothers shouldn’t do

Please forgive the way I feel

And please accept my pain is real

Try to realize what this is all about

I am sending this to you

Because I need to know if you

Can help the child in me

Who’s trying to reach out

©Kay Salady

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Needled & Pinned

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There dwells a doll

Tattered and small

In a dark corner

At the end of a hall

In a faraway land

Where the unseen hand

Of the Voodoo Man

Makes his demands

©Kay Salady

City of Strangers

Old age is an island surrounded by death . . . 

Foreign to myself

In this foreign land

I fear my own reflection 

I run toward the light 

Only to find darkness

For I sought solace

In empty arms

That reach to touch

No one
©Kay Salady

Disaffection

 

disaffection

Hope burned eternal
Until you blew out its flame
With disappointment
Stifling tears stream down my face
That stain my heart with anguish

©Kay Salady

Broken

broken

I tremble in your presence

Timid for your touch

Craving your desire

Wanting very much

To love you

Angry by your absence

I summon you in vain

To bear my discontentment

And brokenhearted pain

With the pound of flesh

I ruthlessly subdue

And all those good intentions

I thought to give to you

Safely tucked away

In the pocket of my dress

Lying on the floor

Beside the goddamned mess

Who’s broken

©Kay Salady

Lost Inside

sadness-fix

Lost in myself, I feel hollow
As prescience pulses in pain
From deep within my marrow
Loneliness seeps yet again
The bones of my existence
Long to dance once more
With friend or foe in folly
Outside of my closed door

©Kay Salady

Illogical

 

Sad Girl

“I made a vow right from the start that you would never break my heart.”

Things can never be the same
We’ll never reignite the flame
I’m feeling lost and numb inside
And all my words scurry and hide
Escaping me evading you
It seems the easy thing to do
I think we’re better off this way
With very little left to say
Things can never be the same
We’ve inflicted too much pain
Being senseless being sad
Being heartless being mad
Without thinking of the cost
Our relationship’s been lost
I feel broken I feel small
Did you care for me at all
I made a vow right from the start
That you would never break my heart
But then I fed on the taboo
Of falling so in love with you
Oh how I hate to say those words
They leave me open and absurd
So I’ll just zip these pretty lips
And try my utmost to resist
But can I really stay away
I want to babe but I can’t say

©Kay Salady

Until I’m Free

Until I'm Free

“A woman’s greatest strength is the power of her will.” -kay salady

I lie dormant
Waiting to emerge
Aching for a surge of nerve
To open up these wings in desperation
And they flutter
Inside the walls you’ve placed them in
And I try so hard to quiet them to no avail
You break my spirit
By wiping all the scales away
But I swear to fly another day
As you cast your eyes away from me
In that time you’ll fail to see
The blush of color has returned
And the fire within my spirit burns
As I perch upon the highest sill
And spread my wings so wide until
I’m free

©Kay Salady

Rage

Rage

The wind is howling
And I cover my ears
to shun the repetition
of my deficiencies
My body quakes
by the reckoning
that comes as thunder
and I shy away
from the flash of pain
that binds me to despair
For I am swirling
in the eye of my beholder
dizzied by the madness
he has mustered
He dances in the silence
of my confusion
pirouetting with a silhouette
of truth
Then dips me
with a deviant denial
I’d been completely
ravaged by a sleuth
Rage had come and gone
within an instant
devastating all
along his path
leaving me so small
just like an infant
and stripping me
of everything I had

©Kay Salady

Reclusive

Reclusive

I never see reality because the girl inside of me
Lives in a world where shadows descend
Along the mayhem that never ends inside my mind
So long ago, a planted seed
By fingertips that had the need to do such harm
To instill fear
Still waters weeds whose roots are here
Gripping me with fright
And even though I know you’re dead
I feel the pain and I have bled
A thousand times or more
I fear to leave my sanctity
Because your goddamned memory
Grips me by the throat
And should I feel your burning eyes
Within a crowd of passersby, come déjà vu
I fear that I may lose my mind
Dear god, that feeling’s too unkind
What would I do
Much better I should stay inside
Much better I not lose my mind
I think I’ll curl into a ball
Remaining very, very small
In fact, I just might disappear
So no one knows that I am here
At all

©Kay Salady