In Mute Appeal

I wait for words to fall

Into the fragile spaces 

Of a mind that longs for something 

Other than emptiness 

There must be an expression

For the feelings I suppress 

Oh so desperate to scream out my pain

To release from quivering arms

This burden that I carry

©️Kay Salady

Straws

They drew at straws

To come up short

And then what’s more

Covered in blood

They tried to run

But slo-mo danced

Some took the chance

To risk it all

By standing tall

Against the reign

And dreadful pain

Of terror

Despite the sin

Or color of skin

Once again

They did not win

Too high a price

For another slice

Of flesh

©️Kay Salady

A Hundred Letters

I’ve written a hundred letters

And thrown them all away

I’m so discouraged darling

Because I’ve had so much to say

It isn’t right that I can’t share

What once was meant for two

And hiding the fact that I may be

Still in love with you

But things are not the same

The man I used to know

Belongs to someone else

And I can’t let my feelings show

I find it so damned ugly

I find it all so wrong

To have been involved with you

Or loved you for so long

When you say you think of me

When lying next to her

It sickens me to death

And makes my feelings stir

Till my blood begins to boil

And I tear out bits of hair

Wanting to get at you

Wishing I were there

If just to cause you harm

To make you feel my pain

How dare you drag me into

The middle of her domain

©️Kay Salady

Shackled in the Darkness

Shackled in the darkness
I prayed for freedom
Stifling the tears
Until a razor came along
To cut the stiff upper lip
That I had been holding
Against the loneliness
Weighing down on me
I then embraced the pain
Of my familiar friend
I this constant gardener
Had grown accustomed
To its foreboding presence
And now I am impaired
Before a dimly lit glass
Of indifference!
Dare I gaze too often
Disappointment looms
Before me as a spider
And I this fly am caught
Up in its web

©️Kay Salady

Hunter’s Moon Rising

When she arose

The fullness of my longing

Broke free from its restraints

And I emptied the contents of my heart

Searching the heavens for an answer

The moon bore witness to my pain

Yet lent her light to ease the shame

Of so much sorrow

©️Kay Salady

Have I so Misbehaved

All my pretty thoughts

Losing all their color

Pounded into dust

Turning into rust upon my tongue

I am sorry I was bad

Yet I had so much feeling

My heart beats in the chest

Of a man whose sheets

Are smoothed by cooler

Hands than mine

Oh how I burn

Neglected expressions

Blow through my weary mind

As crackled autumn leaves

Crushed beneath the feet

Of one with such indifference

Have I so misbehaved

Bringing all my passion

To your unopened door

That pounding in your chest

It is my unanswered cry

We have misbehaved

For all the leaves are gone

And our great tree of passion

Lays waste outside the door

The pounding in my chest

Stops with each heavy sigh

For hands other than mine

Now wipe your fevered brow

And the great vanilla sky

Looks down on us and laughs

For we have lost our path

My love

©Kay Salady

Arthur

Arthur came to visit with throwing stars and flames. Filling up the vacancies where memories had been of every single injury I ever had incurred. He came to reacquaint me with each circumstance then burned his name upon each tendon, each joint and tiny bone. Informing me so sweetly that I’d never be alone. And as I sit beside myself with Arthur still in tow, I wish that he would just decide to take his shit and go.

©Kay Salady

So Obscure

Author, Kay Salady

Though you reach out in the middle of the night

Your hungry hands will never touch this aching flesh

And I feel certain that your heart is far too small

To compete with the extent of all my longing

This is a dam between waters that are surging

Oh how I struggle with myself to reconcile!

I find my warmth in the reassuring distance

That veils my sadness from another so obscure

©Kay Salady

A Reason to Believe

I held onto a dream

And it held to me

Tying me down

So I’d never be

Free to love

Or able to give

All that I’d saved

Up for him

I was a woman

So eager to share

My fantasies

And so I laid bare

All that I knew

To make him feel right

And he drank it in

All through the night

He whispered the words

That I wanted to hear

He said that he loved me

He made it quite clear

So I gave him my heart

I gave him my soul

And I gave him my trust

Just like a fool

But there was a reason

For me to believe

Because he had promised

That he’d never leave

I was so wrong

To think for so long

That all of my dreams

Were between him and me

He called yesterday

With so much to say

How I had given

It all away

And oh my heart fell

I cursed him to hell

Only God knows the pain

That drove me insane

Now inside I know

That it’s time to let go

I held onto a dream

And that dream held to me

It tied me down

So I’d never be

Able to love

Or able to live

The way that he does

And it’s time that I did

©Kay Salady

Her Will

She rouses me in twilight

With nimble scarlet fingers

Outwitting the forbearance

That was laid aside to sleep

And I make a brave attempt to stir

Myself away from facing her

Protracted claws that seem to dig

Much deeper than before

With an urgency that unnerves me

Down to my very core

Now nothing hides inside my mind

Beside impending death

I tremble with anxiety

I scarce can take a breath

Holding onto the minutes that pass

In a day that will not end

While she sits upon my broken chest

Forcing me to bend

Tears well up within my eyes

I cannot run away

As she rides my body writhes

It is screaming in dismay

She holds me down in silence

While she commits the sin

Of having her own way with me

I helplessly give in

To this loathsome bitch

With hands of red

Hands that leave no trail

Other than the unseen pain

That leaves me feeling frail

And in such despair

That I choose sleep

Rather than the steady keep

Of she that still remains with me

She who is my enemy

©Kay Salady