Blog Archives

City of Strangers

Old age is an island surrounded by death . . . 

Foreign to myself

In this foreign land

I fear my own reflection 

I run toward the light 

Only to find darkness

For I sought solace

In empty arms

That reach to touch

No one
©Kay Salady

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Disaffection

 

disaffection

Hope burned eternal
Until you blew out its flame
With disappointment
Stifling tears stream down my face
That stain my heart with anguish

©Kay Salady

Broken

broken

I tremble in your presence

Timid for your touch

Craving your desire

Wanting very much

To love you

Angry by your absence

I summon you in vain

To bear my discontentment

And brokenhearted pain

With the pound of flesh

I ruthlessly subdue

And all those good intentions

I thought to give to you

Safely tucked away

In the pocket of my dress

Lying on the floor

Beside the goddamned mess

Who’s broken

©Kay Salady

Lost Inside

sadness-fix

Lost in myself, I feel hollow
As prescience pulses in pain
From deep within my marrow
Loneliness seeps yet again
The bones of my existence
Long to dance once more
With friend or foe in folly
Outside of my closed door

©Kay Salady

Illogical

 

Sad Girl

“I made a vow right from the start that you would never break my heart.”

Things can never be the same
We’ll never reignite the flame
I’m feeling lost and numb inside
And all my words scurry and hide
Escaping me evading you
It seems the easy thing to do
I think we’re better off this way
With very little left to say
Things can never be the same
We’ve inflicted too much pain
Being senseless being sad
Being heartless being mad
Without thinking of the cost
Our relationship’s been lost
I feel broken I feel small
Did you care for me at all
I made a vow right from the start
That you would never break my heart
But then I fed on the taboo
Of falling so in love with you
Oh how I hate to say those words
They leave me open and absurd
So I’ll just zip these pretty lips
And try my utmost to resist
But can I really stay away
I want to babe but I can’t say

©Kay Salady

Until I’m Free

Until I'm Free

“A woman’s greatest strength is the power of her will.” -kay salady

I lie dormant
Waiting to emerge
Aching for a surge of nerve
To open up these wings in desperation
And they flutter
Inside the walls you’ve placed them in
And I try so hard to quiet them to no avail
You break my spirit
By wiping all the scales away
But I swear to fly another day
As you cast your eyes away from me
In that time you’ll fail to see
The blush of color has returned
And the fire within my spirit burns
As I perch upon the highest sill
And spread my wings so wide until
I’m free

©Kay Salady

Rage

Rage

The wind is howling
And I cover my ears
to shun the repetition
of my deficiencies
My body quakes
by the reckoning
that comes as thunder
and I shy away
from the flash of pain
that binds me to despair
For I am swirling
in the eye of my beholder
dizzied by the madness
he has mustered
He dances in the silence
of my confusion
pirouetting with a silhouette
of truth
Then dips me
with a deviant denial
I’d been completely
ravaged by a sleuth
Rage had come and gone
within an instant
devastating all
along his path
leaving me so small
just like an infant
and stripping me
of everything I had

©Kay Salady

Reclusive

Reclusive

I never see reality because the girl inside of me
Lives in a world where shadows descend
Along the mayhem that never ends inside my mind
So long ago, a planted seed
By fingertips that had the need to do such harm
To instill fear
Still waters weeds whose roots are here
Gripping me with fright
And even though I know you’re dead
I feel the pain and I have bled
A thousand times or more
I fear to leave my sanctity
Because your goddamned memory
Grips me by the throat
And should I feel your burning eyes
Within a crowd of passersby, come déjà vu
I fear that I may lose my mind
Dear god, that feeling’s too unkind
What would I do
Much better I should stay inside
Much better I not lose my mind
I think I’ll curl into a ball
Remaining very, very small
In fact, I just might disappear
So no one knows that I am here
At all

©Kay Salady

Dissociative

 

Dissociative

Deep within my core
There lies a gaping wound
Hidden in the darkness
Each layer of the sin
Like an onion skin
Exposes such fragility
I picked and peeled away
Revealing pain today
Much too much to bear
Depleted, fell to rest
As the center of my chest
Imploded
I dreamt of battered walls
Running ashen down the halls
With those who tore my flesh
Those who should love me best
Then awoke crippled with fear
For death was very near
And I could smell him
Yes, I could smell him
Racked with so much pain
I trembled yet again
As I had done before
Feeling small and insecure
Oh, what a pity
What have you done to me
And why can I not see
The reasons why

©Kay Salady

Impetuous

Impetuous

 

I’m burned by the words

You relentlessly repeat

And I want you to know

If my avoidance seems brash

The pain was too much to bear

Oh how it hurts me

When you talk about the girl

Living in your world

The one who feels the rush

Privileged to touch

Everything I need

 

©Kay Salady

Image Credit:  Sad Girl 3 by tms1313 @ deviantart.com